Open Letter

My Dearest Brother,

I love you so very much, but my love for you is on the inside, as your hygiene is quite frankly some of the worst I have ever known. I mean you look okay but every single thing that comes out of your body, breath, farts, etc. smells like someone who rolled in a pile of dead skunks and is trying to strangle you with their scent alone. I measn its not that that's bad or whatever, I'm sure some might find it appealing. However to the general population excluding the mass populations of feral children who inhabit our fair woods, it would be regarded as unpleasant and a sign of poor decorum. If you choose to continue to let loose what smells like hell on earth please leave it to the baseball fields and pig pens or anywhere where the general population would find your secretions "pleasant" or "bearable". Thank you for your time and remember its what on the inside that counts, but not really.

XOXOXOXO,
Max